Blissbox Responds :-(

So I heard back from the good folks at Blissbox regarding the email I sent earlier this week (which you can see here). Sadly it was not the response I had hoped for

Dear Spike,

Thank you for your email and latest enquiry with Blissbox.com.

We can inform you that unfortunately your last wish of being cremated with Bonita will not be possible.

The reason for this is that she is made of rubber materials and these cause alot of smoke and harmful gases once alight.

If you have a plot for your urn after your cremation you could speak with your funeral director to see if you can have her placed in the bottom of your plot, although she would need to be deflated.

If you opted for this compromise it would would be considerate to clean Bonita, more for those who will be handling her to respect your final wish.

We hope this information helps and if you have any further queries please do not hesitate to contact us again via enquiries@blissbox.com or on our free-phone number (via landline) on 00 800 11 22 22 33.

Kind regards,

Blissbox.com Customer Services

Flips sake, looks like it’s back to the drawing board on that one.  Oh should I say back to the Blow Up Sex Doll board instead? LOL!!!

I Am Getting Old/Inflatable Sex Doll

I’m getting old. And constantly think about my death.

Feeling closer to death than ever today I was compelled to write the following email to the good people at www.blissbox.com

Hello.
A while back I purchased one of your inflatable love/sex dolls. I write love/sex dolls because initially I only purchased the doll solely for the purpose of sex i.e. to have sex with it. But over time I have dearly come to love Bonita (it is the Banging Bonita Doll that I purchased).
I have owned other sex dolls before but my interest in them always waned. Truth be told I always took exception to their eyes; the other others dolls eyes looked harshly at me, looked down at me, made me feel dirty. A pervert even! (Let me tell you I am most certainly NOT a pervert!)
But Bonita had the kindest most beautiful eyes. They were so gentle and understanding that they reminded me of my dear kind mother.
But I digress. The reason I write you is that I fear I am not long for this world. I turned 84 last April and don’t get around as easily as I used to. I have made the decision that I wish to be buried with my Bonita. It would make me delirious to know that I am passing into the ever after with Bonita in my arms. But I fear there may be health and safety considerations, not for me obviously (for I will be dead) but for whatever mourners come out to mark my passing.
I am to be cremated and remember seeing an episode of the TV show Only Fools & Horses in which a number of inflatable dolls filled up with flammable gas. Clearly flammable gas and a cremation ceremony WOULD NOT MIX! Can you tell me, what is the risk of my doll filling up with flammable gas? Or indeed what are the chances of the doll filling up with ANY gas? Bonita suddenly ‘coming to life’ so to speak could cause the casket to spring open, what a farce that would be! It would make a mockery of such a solemn occasion and therefore not worth the risk.
Any help you may be able to provide would be gratefully received by man who just wants to die happy. Is that too much to ask?
Yours sincerely,
Spike Tanner

p.s. one final question which you probably don’t know the answer to but I thought I’d ask anyway. Do you know if dried ejaculate creates an unpleasant smell when burnt? Over the years I have built up considerable deposits in the bottom of Bonita’s front and back cavities. I am wary that the this may create an unsettling whiff in the air as I am created. I would attempt to remove it myself but am too frail to try such a task and realistically would need to get a third party to do it for me. As this is quite a delicate question to ask anyone I want to be sure it is necessary before I pose it.