On a recent visit to Belfast I passed an establishment called Citigolf. I was compelled to write to them.
Dear Citigolf,
where do you people get off?
Why in heaven’s earth did you decide to call yourselves Citigolf instead of City Golf?
What, pray tell is to be gained by spelling your name wrongly?
Do you think it makes you cool? Do you think that the ‘kids’ will want to go to you crap hole?
Do you think Prince will be impressed by your crap spelling and decide to call in for a few ’rounds’?
You may think I am over-reacting to your disgraceful disregard to proper spelling but I assure I am not.
As an ethnic person (I am a black man) I know better than anyone the terrible struggle immigrants have to make their way in Belfast. Most come over here with only their native language and only start to learn English after they arrived. It does them no favours AT all when signs on Public Buildings like your shop front are spelt wrong! You can imagine what the poor bastards are thinking when they see it
“What is a citi? Is that the same as city? Is city actually spelt citi? have I been spelling it wrong?”
Then you can imagine one such person writing an address to show to some one spelling citi. More than likely they will be mocked for the poor spelling. Such mockery leads to resentment my friends, so it is not surprising that the Arab world hates us westeners so much when people like you are making their lives needlessly hard.
I demand that you and your organisation change your name immediately to help the minorities. Now I know that you are a golfing organisation and I know the golfing industry traditionally does not have much time for minorities but I think even you will agree that in the current climate something needs to be done.
Yours Ferociously,
Spike
