My favourite comedian of all time is this guy RyaN Nathaniel HortoN.
I offered to give him some extra material.
Hi Ryan,
been following your profile on MySpace for some time now and I just gots to say you are my favourite comic of all time! I mean it man, you are the best! But there is one thing your act lacks…
YOU DON’T DO ENOUGH BLACK PEOPLE VERSUS WHITE PEOPLE STUFF!
If you think about all the really great comedians of our time, people like Chris Rock, Dave Chapelle, Dan Marino, Robin Williams, Carrot Top they all spend at least half their act talking about how The White Man and The Black Man just ain’t the same.
But I want to help you Ryan, I want you to go straight to the Top! I’ve written you a bit, which is yours for free to use in your next stand up show. Check it out!
‘Hey you know the way people go on about black and white, saying like this thing here is black and this thing here is white? Yeah you know that yeah?
But you know, sometimes people can’t decide if something is either Black or White!! It’s True! I know it sounds crazy but it is true!
Take Jesus for example! Some People say he was a black man, some people say he was a white man! It’s crazy, I know but it’s true!
Can you think of anybody else who people can’t decide if they are black or white? Well can you? I CAN! MICHAEL JACKSON!
That’s right, Michael Jackson, people can’t decide if he is black or white!
Which made me think, what would it be like if Michael Jackson was crucified for our sins in 33AD instead of Jesus! Ever think about that? I have and I think it would go a little something like this..
(at this point you put on a hat, some sunglasses and a glittery glove)
Hey Tito!
Tito! Tell these guys to get me off of this crucifix man! I ain’t done nothing! Seriously Tito! Phone Johnnie Cochran! Quick!
(and then you’d take off the glasses and end by saying)
I’d like to see him Moonwalk out of that!’
So that’s yours, for free Ryan, make the most out of it, its solid gold.
The only thing I ask is that if Letterman ever asks you to do that bit on his show you get me free tickets, deal?
Don’t bother getting me tickets for Leno though, he’s a cunt.
Love you,
Spike
Tags: Comedy, Jesus Christ, Leno, Letterman, Michael Jackson
