Archive for December, 2007

This Teddy Bear Called Mohammed Business

December 5, 2007

The recent events concerning Gillian Gibbons’ arrest and imprisonment in Sudan for allowing a teddy bear to be called Muhammad have troubled me deeply.  Concerned I contacted Steve Wright’s Sunday Love Songs for solace.

Dear Steve Wright’s Sunday Love Songs,

Love the show!

I am writing to you as a man on the edge, at the end of his tether.  Everything I have ever believed in or held true has been cast asunder in the past few weeks because of what has happened to Gillian Gibbons after she allowed children in a Sudanese primary school call a teddy bear Muhammad.  You may be wondering why I am contacting Steve Wright’s Sunday Love Songs about this, but let’s be honest, who else is there contact Steve if not you?

My main problem with what has happened is that the fact is Gillain Gibbons DID commit a blasphemy, and by letting her out of prison after only 8 days do you really think she has learnt her lesson? I bet you any wager you care to make thatGibbons will be back to her deity mocking ways before the month is out, egging crucifixes or scrawling crude graffiti on statues of Buddha or whatever it is that sick people like this do to get their kicks.

And do we really need another blasphemer on the streets in the run up to Christmas?!?  I think not.   As far as I’m concerned if you do the crime you do the time!  Don’t you agree Steve?

It sickened me to my 84 year old guts to see those representatives from the House of Lords fly out (on the tax payers expense no doubt) to negotiate her early release.  Is this another Westernism we are trying to export out to the Middle East, short comfortable prison stays for criminals?  I think it’s bad enough that OUR prisons are nothing more than glorified holiday resorts without the government trying to turn Sudanese prisons likewise!

And another thing, where do Christians get off saying to comedians “oh you’d make fun of Jesus but you would mock Islam that quick!”  Well correct me if I’m wrong, but is Jesus not a prophet in the Muslim tradition too?  If you are going to mock any messenger from God is it not best to mock Jesus, that way you are not singling out any specific group?  Surely those who try to stop people from mocking Jesus are just trying to drive a wedge between the Christian and Muslim communities?

Like you Steve I am both a Muslim and a Christian and therefore I have much to lose from those who want to create disharmony between my two chosen religions.  I beg you in your capacity as a Radio 2 DJ to plead for more anti Jesus jokes and for Gillian to be sent back to prison, if you don’t I fear for my sanity.

Will you do this for me?  And will you also play ‘Don’t Go Breaking My Heart’ by Elton John and Kiki Dee?

Regards,

Spike

Only Fools And Horses Christmas Special

December 4, 2007

I love Only Fools and Horses and think now that it isn’t on TV no more they should make it into a comic book. I have contact Marvel comics to make this a reality.

Hey Marvel!
What’s happening?
Do you remember that time Del Boy and Rodney found that watch and became millionaires?
I do! Fricking made my Christmas that did!
Love for them to have another adventure this Christmas but turns out the BBC ain’t gonna make them no more:-(
Which obviously sucks, but I think the characters can still live on! I’ve attached a brilliant idea I have had for this years Christmas special which I need you to release as a proper comic. I’ve only come up with two pages so far but I’m sure you could pad it out with a few more easily what with all the other artists and writers you have working for you (maybe you could have Mickey Pearce come in and help Rodney dispose of the bodies? Or have Trigger act the ‘C U Next Tuesday’ as usual).
Anyway, write back and let me know how much you are going to pay me and when it’ll be in the shops.
Cheers and Merry Christmas!
Spike

Christmas Special Pt1

Christmas Special Pt2

(You may have to right click on the images above and save them to your computer to see them at the proper size)